I’m at a loss.

December 14, 2008 at 11:34 pm (ADHD, autism, Children, Family, God) (, , , , , )

Levi got kicked out of his class tonight at church.  I’m sitting in the sanctuary, listening to our pastor, and faintly I hear something that just catches my attention.  My instinct has already told me what I was trying to figure out.  I knew something was wrong with Levi.  Then, I hear him louder, crying and screaming.  I took off out the door and down the hall.  When I got to him he was not crying, not screaming, not doing anything but just standing there.  I asked him what was wrong, what happened?  He told me to leave him alone.  I get him over to a couch and I’m trying to pry details out of him.  His teacher comes out into the hall after a few minutes and says that he has had 4 meltdowns and this last one was violent, with him kicking chairs.  She said she removed him from the class because she was afraid he was going to hurt someone.

My first thought was that I had told the teacher that if there was any sign of trouble, to come and get me.  So, 4 meltdowns and an act of violence LATER, I find my son out in the hallway by himself.  But my head is screaming “I TOLD YOU TO COME GET ME!”  It could have been avoided!  Why don’t people listen to me about MY OWN CHILD!?!?!?

My second thought was this would have never happened if it had been a “normal” Sunday night.  Usually Tommy helps in the class so that he can keep an eye on Levi and detour any difficulties.  Tommy is out of town right now, so his absence probably had a twofold affect on Levi’s behavior tonight.

Third thought:  I should not have let Levi have a “free” day from his GFCF diet.  His Sunday School class was having their Christmas party, so I told Levi that he could enjoy a piece of cake and goodies from the party.  How much did this wheat & casein & sugar & preservatives & CRAP affect Levi’s behavior tonight?

How am I supposed to answer that?  Really?  I feel like I have no clue anymore.  I’m frustrated and hurting and scared for my little boy and his future.  I just wish someone could give me the answers.  I’m at a total loss.

Psalm 55:22:
22Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.

Lord,

I am casting this upon You.  It’s obvious I can’t do this by myself.  Please Lord, give me the wisdom and the knowledge to teach Levi.  Give me the insight to anything that I can do to raise him like I should.  Please take this burden from me Lord, it’s crushing me and I can’t handle it anymore.  Please give me patience & understanding.  Please take this anger and frustration and fear away from me.  If there’s something that can be healed with Levi, please Lord, heal his body, heal his mind, cradle his spirit and keep it safe.  I praise you Lord, for the peace and understanding and joy that I know will follow.  I love you Lord!

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen.

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1 Comment

  1. acollage said,

    I’m so sorry this happened to you. We’ve been threatened with it, but the teacher ended up discontinuing her role so now it’s not an issue anymore — or I’d have an issue. All children should be welcome at church, as long as the parent is willing to help as you have been. I hope things work out for you. Pray for wisdom for the church staff and those watching your child, so they have more compassion and are willing to contact you rather than leaving the child out in the hallway alone. I’ll be thinking of you, I hope it works out.

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