Will You Promise?

January 12, 2009 at 6:57 pm (Children, Family, God, Life, photography) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Will You Promise?

I feel so empty
without him here,
so all alone
with all my fears.

How will I survive
without my dreams fulfilled?
To see him running and playing
like his brother, who can’t be still.

How do I get through this?
All this emotional stress and strain?
How do I smile and laugh
when everything is tear stained?

I am just so hesitant and scared
to try and dream again,
to keep up the hope,
to leave it in God’s hands.

I need some sort of assurance.
Please Lord, send me some sign,
that if I’m ever blessed again
You will let this baby remain mine.

I still don’t know the answers,
I just don’t understand,
but I just can’t give up the dream
of holding another tiny hand.

Terri Stanifer

December 23, 2004

I found this poem today, that I had written a few months after Franklin died.  At the time, all I wanted was to know why this had happened.  I questioned God a lot.  I didn’t really allow myself to get angry with him though.  I was so scared that I would lose more of the blessings that He had given me.  Even though I was terrified, I never lost the yearning for another baby.  I never lost the hope.  I feel now that was God’s way of telling me to try again.  He allowed that hope to remain and He fulfilled it with a wonderful & healthy daughter.

My hope fulfilled

My hope fulfilled

1 Comment

  1. mkwewer said,

    Thanks, I needed this today.

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