Nostalgic, maybe?

September 1, 2009 at 10:36 pm (Children, Family, Life, photography) (, , , , , , )

My oldest daughter is joining the Army.  I don’t know what it is, this feeling I have.  Maybe it’s just too complex to put a name on it.  I am excited for her.  The possibilities for her life are endless.  I am anxious for her.  Culture shock is an understatement.  For the next few weeks she is about to lose her identity.  Yet, before it’s over she will have grown and found out who she really is.  I am so proud of her, of what she is trying to accomplish.  She is about to honor and defend that which we hold dear.  I am a little scared for her, physically speaking, I mean,  she’s only 4’11” and not much over 100 lbs.  She is a tough little cookie though.

So, what is this feeling?  Why am I crying?  Are they happy tears?  Sad tears?  It’s not like she just left the nest…she’s been gone for 4 years now.  It’s something else, this feeling, it’s deeper.  Maybe it’s the knowledge I have of what she is going to experience.  The memories that come back, of lying in a bed the night before going to boot camp, wide awake, questioning everything.  The memories of going through induction at MEPS the next day, being poked, prodded and fed noxious food.  Waiting and waiting at the airport for my flight along with all the other recruits who had signed their lives away.  My first flight ever!  Getting on the bus that took us to the base.  My first encounter with a drill instructor that boarded the bus yelling in my face.  The shuffle through uniforms, haircuts, paperwork and more.  The initial shock, mentally and physically, of the first few weeks that gradually turned into camaraderie and teamwork.   The determination I felt to succeed and the drive to be the best.  The pride when I accomplished it all.

I want my daughter to experience all that I did and more.  My short stint in the service exposed me to more than most people see in a lifetime.  I learned some very cool things.  I traveled to far away places.  I met so many wonderful people.    And then, I had a little girl……who is now leaving for the Army.

Rachy, I am so proud of you.  You are a beautiful woman, inside and out.  I know that the next few weeks are going to be crazy.  You are strong!  You are tough!  You will be ok, no matter what!  You just keep plugging and know that I am here praying for you.  I am thinking about you every day!  I am here for you always!!  I love you!!  See you at graduation!!!

Mommy

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