Made it Through

September 30, 2010 at 12:35 am (Children, Family, God, Life, pregnancy loss) (, , , , , )

Six years have passed. I still miss my little boy who made me sicker than any of my other children. I still miss how hard you would kick, and sooner than all of your siblings did.  I miss daydreaming about you and your big brother playing together.  I think about how your big sis got to meet you in the swing that day. I remember the laughs as you kicked her hand. I loved your sweet face with your cute little nose. I still feel you in my arms. My arms holding you close, not ever wanting to let you go. My sweet little boy….I love you and miss you so.  I used to miss you so much, that I would have done just about anything to get you back. But not now. I know now, that you are the lucky one. You are in a place that I can’t wait to go. No worries or strife.  No pain or suffering. Peace forevermore.  I am so thankful you are there. I am so thankful that you taught me to be more compassionate and kind.  Losing you helped me to enjoy what I do have even more.  I am forever grateful that God picked me to be your mommy. 

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Talking about love…

July 17, 2010 at 9:24 pm (Children, Family, God, Home, home school, homeschool, Life) (, , )

1.  I loved our little getaway to Alabama. The drive was not that bad and the kids (big & small) really enjoyed the Rocket & Space Museum. Oh yeah, and the Sci-Quest Center.

2.  I love this bible study that I am getting involved in. Learning to be my hubby’s help meet, because it was never something that I was taught.

3.  I am loving the fact that we are getting excited about the new boxes of books that we are acquiring for the new “school year”.

4.  I love my Jesus. I love your Jesus.

5.  Hmmm…is it love?  One of my daughters brought up the subject of marriage in a recent blog post. I know my girl is serious. She’s felt like this for a long time. I just pray for them both. And if it is God’s will, and they both seek Him first, then I have no doubt it will all work out in the end.

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Thankful

July 7, 2010 at 12:33 pm (Children, Family, God, Life, photography) (, , )

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I am sitting here watching my kids goof off while they are supposed to be doing some copywork. I’m also chatting with my oldest daughter via text messages and e-mail. She is training in the desert right now. She’s living in a tent. Levi and Erin think that is so cool. They even built their own tent.

Lord,
Thank you for my children. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to stay home with them and teach them. Thank you for all the ways that I can communicate with my children who are not here. Watch over my children and keep them safe. In Jesus’ name, Amen

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June 10

June 3, 2010 at 10:48 am (Children, Family, God, pregnancy loss) (, , )

June 10 is yet another unpleasant date that seems to never leave my mind. It’s hard to believe that these last 9 months have passed so quickly. Would the pregnancy have seemed to go by as fast? Pregnancies always seem to drag on and on until you look back after the fact. I wish I was feeling big as a cow and waddling around like a duck. What I would give to be nesting and preparing right now. I know I am blessed. I know it! But that doesn’t fill this hole in my heart.

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A few simple words

March 9, 2010 at 6:53 pm (God, Life, pregnancy loss) (, , , , )

“Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.”  1 Thessalonians 5:11

“You are a blessing.”  Those simple words amazed me a few years ago when my doctor said them to me.  After losing Franklin, I was going through intense grief and confusion.  I didn’t see anything positive in what had happened.  Until those simple, yet powerful words.  He never would tell me how I had blessed him, but just knowing that something positive could come out of something so horrific caused me to look at things differently.  I made the decision then to try and be a blessing to others who would go through tragedies such as mine.  It was my stepping stone to healing and hope.

If you have someone in your life who has blessed you in any way, please don’t hesitate to tell them.  It might just change their lives!

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It’s been a while…..

March 8, 2010 at 11:13 pm (Family, God, Life, pregnancy loss) (, , , , , , , , )

I’m going to start back slowly.  I think I have family who would love to read and keep up with what is going on in our lives.  After the last entry, I haven’t really had anything to say.  I suppose I should update all the “strangers” who might happen to read.  We lost the baby.  One month after I found out I was pregnant I had a miscarriage.  It has been hard, but I know that I will see our little one in heaven one day.  Dates and milestones are not far from my thoughts……..I would be 6 months now.  I am wishing for more, always wishing.

On a more positive note,  I saw these guys in concert last night.  Lord, give me a revelation!

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Rejoicing in the Here and Now(pregnancy mentioned)

October 7, 2009 at 12:03 pm (Children, Family, God, pregnancy) (, , , , , )

I just got this happy thought in my head, “I can’t wait to feel this baby move.”  And then right behind it, “no, no, don’t get your hopes up”.  But as I sit here, I refuse to back down and give up any of this joy I am feeling!  I know that I belong to that stinky non-naive’ club where everything that can go wrong runs through our head!  I don’t care!  If something negative happens, well, I’ll just deal with it then!  This happiness and joy is just bubbling up inside of me.  This can’t be bad!  My mind says, “but what about the statistics against you right now?”  I say it’s a MIRACLE that I’m even pregnant at my age, so statistics be damned!  I will rejoice in this gift that God has given me yet again!

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Does God wear a shirt?

June 18, 2009 at 10:30 am (Children, Family, God, Home, Life) (, , , , , , )

A few nights ago we had a pretty major storm pass through. Our electricity was off & we had candles burning. We were trying to get the kids settled down and asleep. I was lying on the couch with Erin & Tommy was in Levi’s bed with him. I just had to share the conversation I overheard.

Levi: Daddy, do you know I love you more than anything? But God!

Daddy: I love you too, son.

Levi: I love Mommy more than anything too! But God!

I love Erin more than anything! But God!

Daddy, what does “But God” mean?

Buttons, God.

Daddy, does God wear a shirt?

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Wordfull Wednesday ~ Memorial Day 2009

June 10, 2009 at 12:31 pm (Children, Family, God, Life, photography) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

1At the same time came the disciples unto Jesus, saying, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?

2And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them,

3And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.

4Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

5And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me.

6But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.

7Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!

~~Mathew 18:1-7

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Quick prayer request! (UPDATED!!)

April 23, 2009 at 11:35 am (Children, Family, God, Life) (, , , , , , , , )

Could you please pray for my daughter, Leslie. Her OB just called her today and told her that she is going to have to find a new doctor & hospital to deliver her baby due to insurance problems. She is due May 7th. Her car just blew a head gasket yesterday and she now has no way to get around. Also, her boyfriend’s job just cut back on his hours. Just lots of things hitting her at once and she is very stressed.

Updated 4/24/2009 @ 7am Central:

Do you want to know how GREAT our God is??????

Leslie’s water broke this morning!!  She’s in the hospital now, with very light contractions.  I’m waiting for some clothes to dry and then Erin & I are on the way to GA.

Thank you so much for all of your prayers!!!!  Keep them coming for a happy & healthy baby & a safe delivery!

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