Hoping to catch the vision!

April 27, 2011 at 1:31 pm (Life)

31 Days to Clean – Having a Martha House the Mary Way is a new e-book that I am really looking forward to reading. It sounds like it will take a different approach than the normal “to-do list”. I have prayerfully been seeking help with my home keeping and I believe God has provided for me yet again!

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Made it Through

September 30, 2010 at 12:35 am (Children, Family, God, Life, pregnancy loss) (, , , , , )

Six years have passed. I still miss my little boy who made me sicker than any of my other children. I still miss how hard you would kick, and sooner than all of your siblings did.  I miss daydreaming about you and your big brother playing together.  I think about how your big sis got to meet you in the swing that day. I remember the laughs as you kicked her hand. I loved your sweet face with your cute little nose. I still feel you in my arms. My arms holding you close, not ever wanting to let you go. My sweet little boy….I love you and miss you so.  I used to miss you so much, that I would have done just about anything to get you back. But not now. I know now, that you are the lucky one. You are in a place that I can’t wait to go. No worries or strife.  No pain or suffering. Peace forevermore.  I am so thankful you are there. I am so thankful that you taught me to be more compassionate and kind.  Losing you helped me to enjoy what I do have even more.  I am forever grateful that God picked me to be your mommy. 

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Talking about love…

July 17, 2010 at 9:24 pm (Children, Family, God, Home, home school, homeschool, Life) (, , )

1.  I loved our little getaway to Alabama. The drive was not that bad and the kids (big & small) really enjoyed the Rocket & Space Museum. Oh yeah, and the Sci-Quest Center.

2.  I love this bible study that I am getting involved in. Learning to be my hubby’s help meet, because it was never something that I was taught.

3.  I am loving the fact that we are getting excited about the new boxes of books that we are acquiring for the new “school year”.

4.  I love my Jesus. I love your Jesus.

5.  Hmmm…is it love?  One of my daughters brought up the subject of marriage in a recent blog post. I know my girl is serious. She’s felt like this for a long time. I just pray for them both. And if it is God’s will, and they both seek Him first, then I have no doubt it will all work out in the end.

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Thankful

July 7, 2010 at 12:33 pm (Children, Family, God, Life, photography) (, , )

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I am sitting here watching my kids goof off while they are supposed to be doing some copywork. I’m also chatting with my oldest daughter via text messages and e-mail. She is training in the desert right now. She’s living in a tent. Levi and Erin think that is so cool. They even built their own tent.

Lord,
Thank you for my children. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to stay home with them and teach them. Thank you for all the ways that I can communicate with my children who are not here. Watch over my children and keep them safe. In Jesus’ name, Amen

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The sock drawer

June 15, 2010 at 11:25 pm (Children, Family, Life) (, , )

I am packing. Packing away all these new little clothes for my grandbabies to take to GA with them. I have found 3 tiny socks without matches. They have made me bawl like a baby. I know that I won’t pack them because they are unusable without their matching mates. I know that I won’t throw them away because they are a reminder. A sad reminder right at this moment because I am going to miss them so very much. I hope they come back and stay with Nana very soon.

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Wordless Wednesday ~ Rach and Les Then and Now

March 10, 2010 at 11:23 am (Family, Life, photography) (, , , , , , , , )

20+ years later 🙂

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A few simple words

March 9, 2010 at 6:53 pm (God, Life, pregnancy loss) (, , , , )

“Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.”  1 Thessalonians 5:11

“You are a blessing.”  Those simple words amazed me a few years ago when my doctor said them to me.  After losing Franklin, I was going through intense grief and confusion.  I didn’t see anything positive in what had happened.  Until those simple, yet powerful words.  He never would tell me how I had blessed him, but just knowing that something positive could come out of something so horrific caused me to look at things differently.  I made the decision then to try and be a blessing to others who would go through tragedies such as mine.  It was my stepping stone to healing and hope.

If you have someone in your life who has blessed you in any way, please don’t hesitate to tell them.  It might just change their lives!

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It’s been a while…..

March 8, 2010 at 11:13 pm (Family, God, Life, pregnancy loss) (, , , , , , , , )

I’m going to start back slowly.  I think I have family who would love to read and keep up with what is going on in our lives.  After the last entry, I haven’t really had anything to say.  I suppose I should update all the “strangers” who might happen to read.  We lost the baby.  One month after I found out I was pregnant I had a miscarriage.  It has been hard, but I know that I will see our little one in heaven one day.  Dates and milestones are not far from my thoughts……..I would be 6 months now.  I am wishing for more, always wishing.

On a more positive note,  I saw these guys in concert last night.  Lord, give me a revelation!

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Rejoicing in the Here and Now(pregnancy mentioned)

October 7, 2009 at 12:03 pm (Children, Family, God, pregnancy) (, , , , , )

I just got this happy thought in my head, “I can’t wait to feel this baby move.”  And then right behind it, “no, no, don’t get your hopes up”.  But as I sit here, I refuse to back down and give up any of this joy I am feeling!  I know that I belong to that stinky non-naive’ club where everything that can go wrong runs through our head!  I don’t care!  If something negative happens, well, I’ll just deal with it then!  This happiness and joy is just bubbling up inside of me.  This can’t be bad!  My mind says, “but what about the statistics against you right now?”  I say it’s a MIRACLE that I’m even pregnant at my age, so statistics be damned!  I will rejoice in this gift that God has given me yet again!

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Nostalgic, maybe?

September 1, 2009 at 10:36 pm (Children, Family, Life, photography) (, , , , , , )

My oldest daughter is joining the Army.  I don’t know what it is, this feeling I have.  Maybe it’s just too complex to put a name on it.  I am excited for her.  The possibilities for her life are endless.  I am anxious for her.  Culture shock is an understatement.  For the next few weeks she is about to lose her identity.  Yet, before it’s over she will have grown and found out who she really is.  I am so proud of her, of what she is trying to accomplish.  She is about to honor and defend that which we hold dear.  I am a little scared for her, physically speaking, I mean,  she’s only 4’11” and not much over 100 lbs.  She is a tough little cookie though.

So, what is this feeling?  Why am I crying?  Are they happy tears?  Sad tears?  It’s not like she just left the nest…she’s been gone for 4 years now.  It’s something else, this feeling, it’s deeper.  Maybe it’s the knowledge I have of what she is going to experience.  The memories that come back, of lying in a bed the night before going to boot camp, wide awake, questioning everything.  The memories of going through induction at MEPS the next day, being poked, prodded and fed noxious food.  Waiting and waiting at the airport for my flight along with all the other recruits who had signed their lives away.  My first flight ever!  Getting on the bus that took us to the base.  My first encounter with a drill instructor that boarded the bus yelling in my face.  The shuffle through uniforms, haircuts, paperwork and more.  The initial shock, mentally and physically, of the first few weeks that gradually turned into camaraderie and teamwork.   The determination I felt to succeed and the drive to be the best.  The pride when I accomplished it all.

I want my daughter to experience all that I did and more.  My short stint in the service exposed me to more than most people see in a lifetime.  I learned some very cool things.  I traveled to far away places.  I met so many wonderful people.    And then, I had a little girl……who is now leaving for the Army.

Rachy, I am so proud of you.  You are a beautiful woman, inside and out.  I know that the next few weeks are going to be crazy.  You are strong!  You are tough!  You will be ok, no matter what!  You just keep plugging and know that I am here praying for you.  I am thinking about you every day!  I am here for you always!!  I love you!!  See you at graduation!!!

Mommy

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