Made it Through

September 30, 2010 at 12:35 am (Children, Family, God, Life, pregnancy loss) (, , , , , )

Six years have passed. I still miss my little boy who made me sicker than any of my other children. I still miss how hard you would kick, and sooner than all of your siblings did.  I miss daydreaming about you and your big brother playing together.  I think about how your big sis got to meet you in the swing that day. I remember the laughs as you kicked her hand. I loved your sweet face with your cute little nose. I still feel you in my arms. My arms holding you close, not ever wanting to let you go. My sweet little boy….I love you and miss you so.  I used to miss you so much, that I would have done just about anything to get you back. But not now. I know now, that you are the lucky one. You are in a place that I can’t wait to go. No worries or strife.  No pain or suffering. Peace forevermore.  I am so thankful you are there. I am so thankful that you taught me to be more compassionate and kind.  Losing you helped me to enjoy what I do have even more.  I am forever grateful that God picked me to be your mommy. 

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June 10

June 3, 2010 at 10:48 am (Children, Family, God, pregnancy loss) (, , )

June 10 is yet another unpleasant date that seems to never leave my mind. It’s hard to believe that these last 9 months have passed so quickly. Would the pregnancy have seemed to go by as fast? Pregnancies always seem to drag on and on until you look back after the fact. I wish I was feeling big as a cow and waddling around like a duck. What I would give to be nesting and preparing right now. I know I am blessed. I know it! But that doesn’t fill this hole in my heart.

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A few simple words

March 9, 2010 at 6:53 pm (God, Life, pregnancy loss) (, , , , )

“Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.”  1 Thessalonians 5:11

“You are a blessing.”  Those simple words amazed me a few years ago when my doctor said them to me.  After losing Franklin, I was going through intense grief and confusion.  I didn’t see anything positive in what had happened.  Until those simple, yet powerful words.  He never would tell me how I had blessed him, but just knowing that something positive could come out of something so horrific caused me to look at things differently.  I made the decision then to try and be a blessing to others who would go through tragedies such as mine.  It was my stepping stone to healing and hope.

If you have someone in your life who has blessed you in any way, please don’t hesitate to tell them.  It might just change their lives!

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It’s been a while…..

March 8, 2010 at 11:13 pm (Family, God, Life, pregnancy loss) (, , , , , , , , )

I’m going to start back slowly.  I think I have family who would love to read and keep up with what is going on in our lives.  After the last entry, I haven’t really had anything to say.  I suppose I should update all the “strangers” who might happen to read.  We lost the baby.  One month after I found out I was pregnant I had a miscarriage.  It has been hard, but I know that I will see our little one in heaven one day.  Dates and milestones are not far from my thoughts……..I would be 6 months now.  I am wishing for more, always wishing.

On a more positive note,  I saw these guys in concert last night.  Lord, give me a revelation!

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